The Story of My Wife's Conversion

I want to share the story of my wife's conversion.

I moved back to Texas to pursue my college sweetheart, Margaret.  I was Catholic and she attended a new age, non-denominational church.  Christ was important to both of us so we compromised and alternated churches each Sunday.

As things began to get more serious between us I realized two things: I wanted to marry this girl and I wanted to raise my children Catholic.  Thus we began having conversations about the possibility of her future conversion to Catholicism.  She resisted.  She wasn't sure she wanted to be Catholic and had lots of questions.

Unfortunately, these discussions revealed how shallow my faith was.  I couldn't defend ANY of the Catholic Church's teachings nor dispel the countless myths about the Catholic church.  All these conversations did was leave us both disgruntled.  I got nowhere in these talks.

At the same time all this was going on, my girlfriend had been worrying about her parent's souls.  She had grown up in a non-practicing Baptist household and nobody in her family had gone to church in years. Luckily, my girlfriend had an amazing friend in college who ignited her passion for God.  And since she was now in a  deeper relationship with God, she wanted her family to experience the joy she had as well.  Her family had responded sluggishly, always saying yes during the week, but having an excuse come Sunday.  So, as stated, my girlfriend was worried about the eternal salvation of her family.

While my conversations about her conversion were getting nowhere and causing strife, my girlfriend's mother, Mindy, found Relevant Radio!  She found it to be incredibly soothing in the constant traffic jams of Austin.  And she learned a ton from listening.  Eventually, listening to Relevant Radio led her to want to convert to Catholicism.

She told my girlfriend she was considering joining the Catholic Church and Margaret, worried for her mother's soul, was so enthusiastic that she agreed to go through the RCIA process with her mother just to make sure it happened!  So while my heartfelt attempts to convince Margaret to convert failed miserably, Relevant Radio convinced Mindy, and as a result Margaret, to become Catholic!

Once in RCIA, they both learned tons about the faith!  They would come over and teach me about my faith!  Learning the faith led both of them to love the faith.  They could not wait to be baptized.  And their enthusiasm and knowledge was catching, I was inspired to begin exploring my faith with a fervor I never had before.

During this time I proposed to Margaret.  She was baptized one week before we were married and we got married in the Catholic Church.

So Relevant Radio is responsible for my wife's conversion, my mother-in-law's conversion, my Catholic wedding, and re-igniting my fire for the Church!

But the story doesn't end there!

While we were still dating Margaret's father, Stanley, was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer.  In fact, we pushed up the date of our wedding to make sure he could walk his daughter down the aisle and dance with her to the father-daughter dance.  (It was incredible.  Not a dry eye in the house.)

Within one month of our wedding, Stanley was moved by how excited his wife and daughter were about their faith and agreed to become Catholic.  A priest from our Cathedral came and administered the rites of confirmation, holy communion, and the anointing of the sick.  He went comatose within days and passed away within the month.

So to be clear, this man who had been away from his faith for years assents to convert on his deathbed.  The priest washes him clean of all his sins and then he goes comatose.  He didn't have a chance to sin!  The man's soul was clean!  We are convinced he went straight to Heaven!

Relevant Radio saved my father-in-law's soul!

So this is a testament to the power of Relevant Radio.  You know if all of the funding you had received since you started only bore this one fruit, saving one man's soul from Hell, it would have been worth it.

But it's not the only fruit.  Heck, you've born more fruit in just my life alone!  And I know you've helped countless others.  I am a such a huge believer in the power of what you do and the good you provide constantly!

My family and I got to celebrate Mass with Pope Francis in Philadelphia on September 27th.
It was so amazing to celebrate the Mass with millions of other Catholics.

It came time for Communion
I had read about the lessons the Church had learned over the decades from these large Masses
I had read about the logistical hurdles they had encountered in the Philippines when they celebrated Mass with 7 million people
And we were only seven blocks down Benjamin Franklin Parkway from the Pope
So in my mind, of course we would be able to receive communion.

Communion began and we watched on the big screens as it was distributed amongst the people in the central area
We waited patiently, praying, listening to the incredible music, and watching people recieve communion.
Ten minutes went by. No big deal. Logistics are hard in groups this big.
Twenty minutes went by. And we saw the yellow umbrellas coming down marking the ministers of communion.
But the umbrellas turned to the side and cut across the crowd fice blocks aherad of us.
They didn't keep coming down.
Another ten minutes passed.
For the first time, the thought crossed ym mind, maybe I wouldn't be able to receive communion today. Myabe they wouldn't make it this. It had already been thirty minutes.
Another ten minutes went by. Why weren't they using the central walkway that was already blocked off? They could easily transport the ministers down to the furthest ends and abck again in half this time if they had done that.

And then, a block ahead of us, the yellow umbrellas appeared. Relief, oh good, they are coming this way.

But wait, they stopped. Were they not coming any further?

I looked at the crowd, thousands of people packed shoulder to shoulder in front of us. It would take us twenty minutes jsut to et up there.

I looked my wife and told her I wanted to try and go. She agreed and I took her hand. We began to push forward, stepping around families, stepping over chairs, squeezing through spaces between people. We made the sidewalk, then the lamp, then an opening, then a curb, then more crowds.

Other people got the same idea and began to push forward with us. Large families, children, elderly, all pushing forward with us, trying to reach the five yellow umbrellas in front of us.

Then we reached a stopping point. All of the people who had pressed forward to reach the ministers had reached them. There was nowhere else to squeeze through. There were now hundreds of people waiting to get close enough to receive communion.

I found myself praying. Please don't let them run out. Please help my wife and I to receive your body and blood. Dear Lord please help me. I was too far away in the first round. And for a moment the crowd froze. The people who had received communion could not get out of the way because of the crowd of people wanting to receive.

TIme passed and nothign happened. I began to worry about the time. When did the ministers have to return?

THen we managed to make enough room for the people to squeeze by. They moved to the back and a new group surged forward. I was pressed against a street lamp missed opportunity to get close enough. I watched as the priest distributed communion.

One person in front of me moved out of the way and I took a step forward and was within arm reach. I help out my hand, hoping that I could receive communion and the priest would not think it vulage of me to be reaching out over the heads of many as I was.

He looked at me for a second. I thought I was going to have to wait. Then he gave me a communion.

I was so happy! I consumed the Eucharist and said a prayer in joy. I turned around, beaming to wife and swapped places with her. She was able to receive communion as well.

We hugged each other in our excitement. Then we rushed back to offer the rest of our family the chance to receive communion. They rushed off.

My wfe and I turned to each other absolutely glowing. We embraced. We had been able to receive communion. We closed our eyes and wept for joy.

We stayed glued together, in the middle of the crowd, hugging with tears streaming down our faces as we prayed in thanksgiving for ten minutes.

Finally, we broke apart and contuned beaming at each other.

The thought struck me. How odd we were acting. While I don't treat communion flippantly, when it it is available at every church in tiwn, multiple times a day, every day of the wekk, you know it is always there. You know you can always receive communion.

Now for the first time, there had been the smallest doubt for twenty minutes that I would be unable to receive the body and blood of Christ and it had been harrowing. I realized how much I longed for the Eucharist. How much I needed to have it. How important it was to me.

And being able to receive communion had been a moment of pure joy. I felt closer to Christ than I had felt since my son's baptism. I was so relieved. So happy.

I realized this was incredibly valuabel...to me...to my family...to the world.

If we only knew how God regards the Mass, we would risk our lives to attend a single Mass. - St Padre Pio

I was reminded of a quote from St. Padre Pio. It had never made sense in the past due to the extreme luxury I live in the United States. But, that small window where it had appeared I would not receive made it much more understnadable.

It's true.

Keep pursuing,

Christianity is not, primarily, about ethics

The title of this post will seem ludicrous to many, if not most, practicing Christians in good standing with the Church today. And, I am embarrassed to say, I counted myself among their ranks only a few months ago.

Until, that is, I saw the video below from Bishop Robert Barron. This video struck me like a thunderbolt. I hope it will do the same for you.

Christianity is really about the Euangelion, the Good News, that Christ has risen from the dead and in so doing has turned the universe upside down. He has defeated death. A new life has been opened to us in the body of Christ. Now live that justified life.

This discovery is like a ray of light. It immediately makes sense. It is immediately recognizable as the Truth. This revelation is transforming how I approach my faith and how I share my faith. Thus, it transforming this blog where I explore my faith. Expect some large scale transformation in the coming months.

He is risen! Alleluia!

Keep Pursuing

My Marriage Advice

Once, on a flight from Europe to Texas, I was blessed with a lovely neighbor from London.  She was fun, she was talkative, and she was cute. We had a great time talking about video games, work, flowers, and God.

At one point we began talking about her parents's pending divorce and the future of her relationship with her boyfriend.  At which point she asked me:

"You seem happily married.  How do you make a marriage successful?"

It wasn't a flippant question.  The foundation of her life had just been ripped from under her feet by divorce. She was worried about the future. And I was caught completely unprepared. How do you summarize a lifetime of past lessons and future dreams?

So...I failed.  I offered a few weak platitudes about being nice and the conversation drifted to other topics. When the flight ended we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways, but her question stayed with me. It haunted me for months, begging for an answer.

Years passed and now my sister is getting married. She asked me the same question the other day. But this time I was ready! After years of searching for a simple, universal truth that summed up the countless bits of wisdom surrounding marriage, I found the answer in Christ. And I have lived it ever since.

So here it is my one piece of advice, for anybody, on how to make a marriage successful:

"Know that love is a decision, not a feeling."

That's it. Remember that and your marriage will never fail. And the reason it will never fail is because it takes your marriage out of the hands of chance and places it in your own capable hands. It makes "falling out of love" impossible. And it makes "til death do us part" a reality.

Love was never meant to be lowered to just some happy feeling or some fleeting attraction. That wasn't the passion we celebrate in Romeo and Juliet. That isn't the force that conquers all. And that is certainly not what Christ felt when he died on the cross for you.

Love is willing the well-being of your spouse above your own life. You have to choose, each day, to love your wife.  You have to decide, each morning, to love your husband.

Because the happy feelings come and go. They just do.
And the good times cycle with the bad times.  They just will.

It is your "yes" that has the power to outlast anything this life can throw at you.

  

That is the love that has been celebrated through the centuries.

That is the love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
That is the love God has for each one of us.
And that is the love that will make your marriage last.

I love you K.
May God bless your marriage.


Keep Pursuing

Stop Breeding Hatred

Here's a true story that happened to me yesterday, July 2, 2013.  I am not telling this story for sympathy, nor to show one side's superiority.  Please bear with me.

...

I went to the capitol to to register my support for HB2 (a pro-life bill).  After registering, I shared the elevator back up with a woman wearing a bright orange shirt and shorts (signifying she was pro-choice).

We joked about needing to get out of the suffocating environment. When we reached street level, I opened the door for her.  As we walked out we discussed what a nice day it was. 

A man covered in tattoos and piercings approached us and asked as where to go to register.  Together we provided directions that ensured he would get there. 

Afterwards, she asked me where I worked. I told her National Instruments and she shared that her grandfather had worked at NASA and was a specialist on a key piece of hardware.

At this point we had been walking together for five minutes, two amicable strangers being friendly and making conversation.

Then she asked, “So what side are you on?”

I replied, “Oh, I am very pro-life.”

Horror stretched across her face. She turned 90 degrees and starting walking away at a brisk pace while accusing me over her shoulder. 

“You disgust me.” 

“You hate women.” 

“You don't believe in religious freedom"

"You're a jihadist who wants to enslave women."

In my shock, I offered, “You don’t need to yell, we could have a discussion about this.”

She turned to face me while walking backwards and screamed:

“I will never talk with you, YOU TERRORIST!"

"You can’t tell me what to do with MY BODY!”

I replied (perhaps mistakenly), “But it’s a child.”

She was now at the street corner and stopped in a crowd to scream back:

“It is NOT."

"It is FLESH!"

"AND YOU ARE A TERRORIST!”

…

This event shocked and saddened me. We had been acquaintances having a friendly conversation. And the moment she found out I held an opposite point of view she was outraged and terrified. 

This woman isn't alone. And she isn't the bad guy. She is a victim of cruel leadership and vile propaganda that breeds hatred.

The “pro-choice” side isn't the only side that does it. All sides of all issues are doing it more and more. It needs to stop now.

If I’m supposed to be enemies with others who don’t share my views, does that mean I can only be friends with like-minded individuals? What a narrow minded, bland way to live!

Am I supposed to hate everyone who disagrees with me? What a hate filled, cowardly life!

The demonizing of the “other side” is hurting everyone. How can we ever have a logical discussion to settle our disputes when all we do is attack and refuse to listen?

The hatred needs to stop!

What You Can Do

Start with people who will listen to you.  Stand up to your friends when they used exaggerated, hurtful words.  Stand up and leave when people on "your side" incite hatred and bigotry.

I know that I am asking for a lot of courage.  These are the hardest people to stand up to, the ones you don't want to let down.

But the "tactics" being used now hurt everyone, including the people on "your side".  This is causing pain, ruining relationships, and eliminating any chance of ever settling a dispute logically and peacefully.

Please stop hating.


Keep Pursuing

Marriage Insurance

I recently attended a presentation given by Father Rocky of Relevant Radio. He was offering "marriage insurance", saying that if you followed the rules he laid out, he would guarantee your marriage for life.

After listening to the talk, I agree with him, this would make your marriage invincible. The points were so simple and compelling, I wanted to share. Below are Father Rocky's 13 rules divided into 6 categories:

Warning
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1.) Absolutely No Cohabitation Before Marriage

• It doubles the chance for divorce. 
• By the latest estimate 75% of couples who cohabitate before marrying end in divorce.

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Body

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2.) No Artificial Birth Control

• Not using artificial means of contraception requires a couple to communicate which is critical to marital success. 
• Learning about each others cycles, discussing whether you want children right now, and considering each other’s feelings each month increases intimacy. 

3.) Daily Physical Contact

• As humans, our spiritual and physical needs are intertwined. 
• We need daily physical contact to guard against estrangement. 

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Soul

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4.) Daily Prayer Together

• Even if it is just one “Our Father” every morning. 
• The family that prays together stays together. 

5.) Weekly Mass Together

• A marriage takes three…you need to keep Jesus at the center of your marriage. 
• Receiving Jesus weekly keeps you spiritually fit. 

6.) Monthly Confession

• There is nothing like a clean soul! 
• Confession is great practice for marriage. It makes you say words that are crucial like, “I was wrong”, “Forgive me”, and “Thank you”. (See #12) 

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Time
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7.) Go on a Weekly Date

• Set aside one meal, one day a week for just the two of you to go out alone and just be together. 
• Just because you are married does not mean you are allowed to stop courting one another. 

8.) Have a Weekly Business Meeting

• Set aside 30-60 minutes each week for just the two of you to discuss family business like finances, calendars, and tasks. 
• This builds unity by tackling problems together. (See #11) 

9.) Yearly Vacation

• Once a year, just the two of you go on a three day vacation. 
• Just because you are married does not mean you are allowed to stop courting one another. 

10.) Go to Bed at the Same Time

• A large amount of our communication and time spent together happens naturally when you go to bed. 

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Money

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11.) Financial Transparency

• Financial problems are one of the leading causes of divorce. 
• Don’t have separate bank accounts, don’t have secrets, and face decisions. (See #8) 

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Words
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12.) Phrases You Should be Saying Weekly (if not daily)

• "I love you" 
• "I am Sorry" 
• "I was wrong" 
• "Please forgive me" 

13.) The Word You Should Never Say

• "Mine" 

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Reflections
I was blown away by how deceptively simple these rules were. Everyone can do these. They seem like common sense.

Ask yourself honestly, do you think a marriage would ever fall apart if you followed these 13 guidelines?

And now ask yourself honestly, are you currently following these 13 guidelines?

Time to get started!


Keep pursuing,

Additional Notes

Here is the short list of additional notes I took that did not fit neatly into the above 13 points.

Father Rocky pointed out that we insure things that are important in our life...houses, cars, jewelry...but why not our marriages? The call to marriage is a vocation that trumps almost all other responsibilities in life. Shouldn't we take greater care of it?

These points seem to dismiss the children in a family. However, nothing could be farther from the truth. The best thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse.

My relationship with God comes first, my relationship with my wife second, my relationship with kids third, everything else comes after those three.

As a husband one of my paths to holiness is laying down my life for my wife. (That includes living for my wife.)

The current chance for first time marriages to end in divorce is over 35%. But if you look at people actively involved in the Catholic Church, the rate drops to almost zero. (As an example, the divorce rate in the Lay Ministry of Opus Dei is 1%.)

Marriage is the only sacrament that requires five people to be present.for it to be valid. Most only require two!

A Real Man Acts Like a Father

In my last post, I recalled the various definitions of what it meant to be a man that I had held as I grew up.  In this post, I want to share my current theory on what a man really is.

Discovery

There I was, sitting in a drive thru lane for Bill Miller's BBQ and, once again, I was wrestling with the definition of what it meant to be a man.  I decided to start at zero and look at what I knew.

• I knew a real man was strong enough to help others who needed help (Able)
• I knew a real man put the needs of others before himself (Selfless)
• I knew a real man stood up for what was right regardless of the situation (Righteous)

While these are all noble and good (and I would struggle to just accomplish these), they still lacked a unifying theme and let too much fall through the cracks.  

And then I had a realization!

All three of these characteristics described described characteristics that an ideal father would possess!  Think about the archetypal father figure.  He is definitely able, selfless, and righteous.  But he was other things as well...strong, wise, caring, a protector, a provider and more!  

And every single quality I listed for a father also described how a man should act!  I was thrilled.  This theory works!  (For now.)

My New Definition

A real man acts like a father.

That does not mean a real man must have children.  Nor does it mean that every male with children is a man.  

What is does mean, is that a real man lives in the world as we would envision a father to live in his home.  

• He treats the people he meets with love, 
• the places he encounters with respect, 
• and the things he does with pride.  

A real man would have to be confident enough and strong enough to not only put others before himself, but also have the bravery to put himself "out there", risking backlash for doing the right thing.

In short, acting as a father to the world requires one to be incredibly manly.

Implications

The beauty of this comparison is that it explains a theory I can barely grasp, much less communicate, with an idea that is well-known and familiar to everyone.  It keeps scenarios from falling through the cracks and it definitely has a unifying theme.

Using this archetypal father as a new role model sounds exhausting.  It requires so much love.

I will write again after I have kicked the tires a bit more.  

In the mean time.  I would love to hear your thoughts!

Keep Pursuing

My Childhood Ideas of Manhood

The following story is the evolution of my thoughts on what it meant to be a man as I grew up.  I know it might seem a little silly at times, but there is a point to the story.

Toddler

In my earliest memories, my father was the only adult male I knew.  If I'm honest, I can't even tell you if I knew I was going to grow up, but he was the only male figure in my life.

"If" I thought about growing into a man I would have assumed I would be like my father.

A real man was the big man.

The Big Man

Child

As early as the age of six I had realized that not all adult males were men.  Some were different.  Some led.  Some followed.  Men were distinct in a group of males as the ones whom the other males looked to.

My image of these men was that they were the best.  They were taller and stronger.  They were more masculine.  They were hairier.  And for the longest time, my idea of what a real man was was Tom Selleck.

A real man was a manly man.

The Manly Man

Teenager

As I drifted into my teen years, the manly man image became more and more old fashioned, to the point of irrelevance.  What I began to notice was that there were males that defined the trends others followed.

This could be seen in athletics, in fashion, and in business.  More and more, a real man began to be defined by being successful.  The moguls like Michael Jordan, Brad Pitt, and Donald Trump were the most successful in their field.  Success made you sexy, got you ladies, earned you respect, and lots of money!

The real man was the sexy man.

The Sexy Man

College

In college I hit a crisis in manhood.  I realized how shallow the prior definitions of manhood had been, but I had nothing to replace them with.

I knew I wanted to be a man.  I knew it was a lofty goal.  But I didn't know what a man was.  And what's worse, I couldn't find a role model.  Without an example of a man, I had no target to pursue.

I wrestled with this idea for four years in college.  I would talk about it with friends, bring it up in philosophy class, and occasionally write about it.  Finally, a new distinguishing factor between males became apparent.  There were those who acted and those who didn't!

It made sense.  There were those who were to afraid or unambitious to act on their dreams and those who grabbed their destiny by the horns.  The makers were the ones who had forged the world I was currently living in...buildings, cultures, governments, businesses...all from those who had been doers.

This was my new target.  To be part of males who acted when they saw a problem.  A real man was a man of action.

Man of Action

Today

The man of action served a good framework for years.  But there were questions that didn't make sense with this definition.  Villains, murderers, and terrorists could be called men of action, is it that right?  Could you be bad and still be a man?  If God made man wouldn't he provide a definition?

Eventually, the nagging questions piled up and toppled the man of action.  There just wasn't enough substance there.  So, I was once again without direction.

That is until earlier this year when I had an epiphany...which is the subject of my next post found here.

See next post!

Lessons Learned

As I look back at the different definitions over the course of my life I laugh.  But I also think back to all of the energy and time dedicated to the pursuit of these incorrect ideas.  And I'm not alone.

How much time, resources, and passion have been wasted by the boys of my generation?!  All because we want for a compass to point us in the right direction.

How sad is it that there is not a clear "true north" for manliness in today's society?
How much could have been accomplished if the boys my age didn't wander blindly?
How big a travesty is it that our society can't point us to a hero of a man to be idealized?
And perhaps scariest of all, why isn't anyone else asking this?

I'm still exploring.  I want answers.  If you have an idea, please share it in the comments.


Keep pursuing,

My Favorite Bible Verse

The discovery of my favorite Bible verse was a transformative experience.  It was one of the first times in my life when I could actually feel God's presence.

It was a cold winter morning in the second semester of my freshman year in college.  Sunlight was pouring through the window of my dorm room.  I rolled out of bed, grudgingly, to read my Bible and go running before class.  I started reading John 15 and the following line woke me up:

I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing. ~ John 15:5

That was it!  For years I had been searching for a simple way to summarize what I thought my relationship with Christ should be.  And this visual nailed it!  It was like finding a puzzle piece you have been looking for.

That's not my favorite Bible verse...

But it got my attention.  I was now fully awake and invested...no longer grudging.  I kept on reading. Every single verse built on the one before it...I get my power from Jesus...bearing fruit glorifies God...God loves Jesus...Jesus loves me...love one another as Jesus loved us...

And then it all culminated in this:

No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. ~ John 15:13

I stopped reading, stunned.  This verse meant infinitely more when taken in the full context of John 15. (Go read it, it all goes together.)

The full meaning of this verse really sank in. The greatest love one can have is to sacrifice one's life for another. And everyone knows Jesus gave his life for us. Jesus died for me...because of me.

I put down the Bible, numbly got dressed, and went running. I ran, not seeing anything, my mind focused on the fact that Jesus, this man I didn't know, had died for me because he loved me. What used to be just words became real to me for the first time. And it didn't compute.

The Bible verse drifted through my head again and I thought of my brother, Garrett. I thought of how much I loved him. Would I give my life so that he might live?  The answer, I was surprised to find, was yes...that was terrifying.

The discovery slowly began to dissolve into understanding. Jesus loved me like I love my brother. That made Jesus' love tangible. I knew what Jesus felt for me. I experienced it in the love I had for my brother. 

That was incredible. The most powerful love I knew and that was how Jesus felt about me...even when I was ignoring Him. And this love led to His death. He sacrificed His life because of the love I felt now.

It made my heart long for Jesus. For the first time in my life, I really loved Jesus back.

I ran until my eyes cleared. Exhausted, I started walking back to my dorm. I started seeing the people around me again. And I was shocked to see the purple backpack in front of me had "John 15:13" stitched into the back of it!

I couldn't believe it. I wanted to tell her, but I was scared.  (Yes, I've always loved talking, but I had never talked about my faith before.) I decided that this couldn't be a coincidence and it warranted overcoming the trepidation I felt.

I tapped her on the shoulder. I bumbled my way through a brief chat about our shared favorite Bible verse and how amazing God was for lining her up in front of me on the day I discovered the verse. It was the first time I shared my faith, something we are all called to do.  And it was rewarding!

And that is the story of how I discovered my favorite Bible verse: John 15:13!

Post Script 

You might be reacting with disbelief. I know that this might be the most famous and widely quoted verse in the Bible, but I was really uninformed about my faith at that time. I really didn't know it.  And, being that uneducated allowed this verse to hit me with all the force of someone discovering it for the first time.

It is so nice being able to have a clear answer (and a great story) when people bring up favorite Bible verses. Do you know your favorite Bible verse? If not, you should go find it.


Keep Pursuing

Why I Believe in God

I was lucky to have started with a good foundation.  I believed in God when I was little because my family believed in God.  I saw their example and followed it.  However, there a came a day as a child when I decided that, for something this important, I needed to decide for myself what was right and what was wrong, and not just blindly follow.  (Because the Catholic Church does not call us to blind faith.)

I remember it vividly, sitting there in church in the alcove of a stained glass window and really thinking about it for the first time.  Did God exist?  I wasn’t sure; I had no interaction with Him except my one-way prayers.  Was the Catholic Church right?  They said they were, but then again… they would.  Was the Bible true?  There was a lot in the Bible. 

I tried going through everything in the Bible and a theme began to emerge.  The stories in the Old Testament prophesied about Jesus.  The Gospels told the story of the life of Jesus.  The rest of the New Testament taught the teachings of Jesus.  It all came down to Jesus.  He was the crux.  If He was real, then the rest followed…and if He was fake, then it all fell apart.

How could I prove if Jesus was real?!  And then I remembered that others already had!  Historians have documented the existence of Jesus.  Even other religions, such as Islam and Judaism, acknowledge He existed.  This proved that Jesus was real.  And if Jesus was real then the Bible was true.  And if I accepted the Bible as the Word of God, then it all had to be true…there was no being “Lucky Charms Catholic”, only picking out the pieces I liked. 

I was exhilarated!  I felt accomplished!  It reignited my passion for Jesus!

Looking back, I may have made one or two leaps in logic that day, but it transformed the way I approached my faith.  I no longer ignored my doubts, rather I tackled them.  I investigated things that didn’t seem right.  You want to know what I learned?  The Catholic faith is not fragile…it is robust!  Time and again, I not only found answers.  I found answers that reinforced the rest of the teachings.  It all hangs together beautifully. 

So over the years I found more proofs for existence of God and the truth of the Bible.  For example, living the lessons taught by the Bible does lead to a more meaningful, more fulfilled life.  Or how about the fact that the Bible is incredibly accurate in a historical context.  And most importantly, I started building the right relationship with God…and He started speaking back.  Once you reach that point, there is no longer any doubt that God is real. 

But this is why the Catholic Church urges all people (regardless of whether they be Catholic, Baptist, Non-Denominational, Muslim, Jew, or Atheist) to have a critical mind.  Ask questions and get real answers.  Too often we rely on rumors or the first result on a web search.  You need to go to the source, talk to the experts, and read original documents to get the truth for yourself.  Everyone should be examining what they believe, trying to poke holes, pull at strings, and pursue doubts because the church is confident that you will get answers…and that those answers will lead you to Jesus.


Keep Pursuing,

The Story of How I Came to God

It’s important to be able to tell the story of your relationship with God, so this is as much for my sake as it is for anyone else’s.

Chapter 1

I was born into a Catholic family and grew up going through “the routine” every Sunday.  Mom taught me that church was important, God was great, and I needed to be good.  But to be honest, I didn’t always understand the lessons and I never paid attention for the full service.

To me God was great, but he was distant.

Chapter 2

I didn’t take my first step with God until my freshman year of high school.  At Young Life Camp I went on a walk with “Young Steve” (we had three counselors and they were all named Steve).  He shared a bit about his relationship with God which, to me, was like revealing your soul.  It made me want to listen to him. 

He said I should do more than pray for “big things” in my before-bed prayers.  He encouraged me to talk to God throughout the day about the little things I saw and the little things I did.  He shared how, on a walk that morning, he had seen a pretty bird and stopped to pray, “Wow God, that’s pretty cool.”

It resonated with me and I started praying throughout the day.  It transformed my relationship God.  He was no longer distant.  He felt close.  God became a parent with whom I shared what I did every day.

Chapter 3

Wouldn’t it be great if we always walked forwards and never went backwards?  Well I took steps backwards in my faith as I progressed in high school.  As I became more self-absorbed church held less importance.  And then all hell broke loose when I met my first girlfriend.

It was the most selfish time of my life.  We were both completely self-absorbed and did our best to tear each other apart by pushing each other further into sin.  And we had the gall to say “I love you”!  This type of relationship is the furthest thing from love possible…worse than hatred, it was apathy towards each other while we fulfilled our basest desires.  It was a dark time in my life.

God became a parent with whom I shared only the good things and tried to hide the rest.  (Looking back, I bet this is how Adam felt hiding from God in Eden.)

Chapter 4

But things changed when I went to college.  You see my greatest source of strength and comfort had always been my family.  The other, lesser sources were friends and church.  I went away to college and didn’t have my family or friends.  Church quickly grew in importance as my sole source of strength and comfort.  I looked forward to my Sunday morning walk to church! 

This increased importance led to increased listening, which led to prayers, which led to me questioning the way I was living my life.  It wasn’t long before I broke up with the girlfriend and committed myself to a eudaimon way of life.  I found new friends who were into what I was into and I formed edifying relationships that have lasted to this day.  I was taking steps forward in my walk with Christ again!

God was a parent again, but he also became a teacher, someone I looked to for guidance.

Chapter 5

In my last year at college I went to Longhorn Awakening and…it woke me up.  (Working as advertised!!)

It made Christ real.  And when Jesus is real, knowledge of His sacrifice is vivid.  It brings painful recollection of your sins but it also brings joyful understanding of the scope of a love powerful enough to forgive and forget anything.

And if that wasn’t enough, this retreat was also my first time to experience the power of prayer...the transforming, supernatural, miraculous power of prayer.

God became my savior for the first time in my life!

Chapter 6

I was on fire when I graduated!  Ready to take on the world for Jesus!

But then nothing happened.  All suited up in my armor, sword drawn…no (visible) enemy to do battle with.

Sure I had the sexy, international consultant gig, but it wasn’t meaningful work, I wasn’t helping people.  The sights I saw quickly lost their glamour without someone to share them with.  I began to question my life.  Where was I supposed to be?  What was I supposed to be doing? 

Luckily, I knew the place to turn for answers. 

I prayed and prayed to God.  For years I asked for meaning and guidance…and God spoke to me.   There were times lost in prayer where I would be overcome by His presence.  Other times, He would answer a prayer immediately in a miraculous way.  He let me know He was bearing this burden of uncertainty with me.

God became a companion on my journey.

Chapter 7

But what was I supposed to be doing?!

Looking back, God was guiding me slowly, step by step.  One of these steps was to bring me back to Margaret, the girl of my dreams.  We fell in love.  Real love.  And I started thinking about marriage.  

I wanted a Catholic family, but Margaret was skeptical and had lots of questions…and I couldn’t answer any of them!  I couldn’t speak to the history of the church, I couldn’t defend its teachings…how could I ask her to be Catholic when I didn’t know anything about it?!

Then a miracle happened.  God reached out to Margaret’s mother through Relevant Radio and she became interested in the Catholic faith.  While my flimsy arguments did nothing but anger Margaret, she raced into the RCIA classes to support her mother’s curiosity in the faith.  You want to talk about humbling?!

Through the nudge from Relevant Radio, Margaret’s mother converted, Margaret converted, Margaret’s father converted…and I learned tons about the teachings of the Catholic Church.

I had been asking God to put me where I needed to be and hadn’t known the first thing about my faith.  I was asking him to do all the work.  But it’s not about what He can do for me; it’s about what I can do for Him.  That is a life in service.  That is what we are called to do.  That is the answer I have been praying for. 

God is what matters.

Chapter 8

The next chapter is currently being written. 

Margaret and I got married one week after her conversion.  She is a catalyst for deepening my faith, and I try to be the same for her.  Also, I finally got a new job that will allow me to stay home and be more involved...an answer to five years of prayers.

More to come…


Keep Pursuing